Tuesday, January 16, 2018

#It's already mid January

I'm not gone guys. I still remember to be consistent, just that well, I always get carried away with uni music stuffs... SO DAMN MANY STUFFS TO PRACTICE!! But anyways, yeah, time flies, it's already in mid January, and honestly, I feel like I don't have enough time *cries*

So I just want to say that, today I encountered one of my friend and said something like, always avoiding problems and everything. Actually, trust me, I came a long way... Well not super long, but at least now I have an obvious result(?) in my journey I guess. I used to be a super introvert, being in my own world is something I would think like... forever? Always had the thought of being special, one of a kind, outstanding but never did anything. So I don't know when I just fell and you know, thinking how should I change myself.

I remember I just keep reminding myself to GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. I remember way way long ago, I heard that you are always growing when you struggle, suffer, uncomfortable when challenging something, and you are NEVER EVER GOING TO BE PREPARED to face all these challenges.. so why not just go whenever you can?

I have too many regrets and all of them just because I don't have COURAGE. I never brave enough to be the first, never confident enough when I know I can but still lacking of trust to myself. Then slowly at a point, I know, I have to change myself to someone I want to be.

EVERYTHING COMES WITH A PRICE. Being yourself at your best needs hard work. Seriously, I think us or maybe our generation, I felt like we always think that hard work is hard stuffs. Actually it's not. Yes it could be when you see it as one hard stuff, but if you just take time to sit down and unravel it, you will find out there are just many easier task to finish that hard work.

I'm not good at studying. I really am. But I look for ways, trial and error, and now I know, how I should study and it always work. Don't get too depressed when you are in the trial and error period, because if you just continue believing that you will find your way, it will come.

I never thought I would sign up for a gym. But I did. I never thought I could be a committee in like my uni music student association, game host for new students and lecturers... Seriously, I'm still not a pro at it but you know, it's just whether you want to try.

I learnt not how to think too much when someone ask you "Do you want to go/do/have...?" Because the more you think, the lesser courage you will be. At least I know, if I have a reason to do it, I will do it and just do not give up. Always find your way and you will be fine.

Adult life, I think, maybe just the young adult life, you just have to clean yourself up and make every second count. Like learning something new, or solving some hard problems, don't afraid of using more time because if you do it right, every second has its meaning, no matter how long it takes.

This is my life lesson I learnt at the age of 20 and I felt like I'm already too late to realised it. Trust me, you don't want to just be someone "tomorrow same stuffs, life is hard (yes it is, but you can always make it easier), just waiting" because when you wake up and realised, it will be super late.

The first thing to start is to just LOVE YOURSELF. I mean like really, think of it, in this universe, the solar system is also considered small in the milky way, and compared to the sun, the Earth is small, and we humans are tiny.. BUT you are still here! Using a device, using a chair, in a room, or using a public chair etc. You are still in a space of this tiny spot... isn't that special? Like do you ever think of why you could have your soul in this body... like what if there is other soul out there wanting this body but you get it, you have this one chance to use this body... Isn't that just amazing?

I just wish everybody out there to live your life the fullest. It's okay to have ups and downs, mistakes, challenges, problems anything, as long as you think at your very moment in your history, it is something you want it to have in your life, make it worth.

Just keep reminding yourself, you are special, you are unique, it's okay to take more time at the early stage of doing something new because it's really normal. Do not care how negative people think about you because do you think it's worth it to be sad because of the comments they give and you just waste like minutes, hours, days to think about it?

So... I'm still lacking of photos, I'm sorry. I don't have much photographer around me but hmm... I asked that whether should I take picture of my spread weekly on insta story and I got 100% yes which is unexpected but umm okayy here you go hahahaha (I think it's not insta worthy so I have to post here I guess oops hahaha)

Anyways, thank you for reading this post. If you got inspired or something, do let me know! I'm willing to help out if you need help. You must help yourself to get help because that is the most basic thing to do but anyways I have to get doing my music stuffs *tired*

I love music but to be a musician is just hard work hahahahahahahaha


xoxos.

Friday, January 5, 2018

# Wishing for consistency


So today is my first day of year 2... hmmm I guess it’s just like any other day but yeah it’s fun~ I have a new lecturer this semester and he seems nice, and that subject is like a research subject... I think it’s not gonna be a boring 8.30am class hahaha (im really not a morning person)

*** So before you continue reading, I think most of the stuffs are in words... because I forgot to take pics and well, if you bare with me, you know why ***

I only have 2 classes today, and ended at 12pm. I handed all the gifts I bought last year for my friend and then wait for my bf to come to fetch me to 1 Utama.

So... I organised a few list of stuffs I need to buy and well that’s why I sort of “beg” my bf to fetch me to 1 Utama to sapu all my stuffs hahhaha

Then knowing that I’ve already decided to get a membership at Fitness First so today’s the day! And I start the first training and damn my legs are super tired bc I hardly exercise (guilty okay)

And being alone in a place I came for the first time, I sort of not like the person I used to be, I feel confident, able to like relax and look around... I guess it’s time to be independent and I like how it feels! Never knew something I’m so scared about could just change when your heart decides it’s okay.

Then, I went to find like brushes and highlighters that I really want bc I’m like also doing bullet journal now... and i’m broke bc it’s so damn expensive but well... treating myself I guess. For once. I hope.

Anyways, bc of being broke, I realised there’s Family Mart nearby and it’s a lifesaver I guess? Because I dont know... because food without Tax in shopping malls is something I should be happy about? 

So if you are my friend, you might know that I really dont drink much water and well, today I think I improved. 

So seriously, with all these being said, it realy feel like a new me now and I really really really want to feel it all the way till the end of 2018. Not much. Just 12 months. Consistency and motivation is just what I wish for this year! 

So have you changed yourself? Well, you just have to the start, and just try to continue, motivate and you will get there.

Love you guys!

xoxos.